Started the Non Complaining Challenge and devised some amusing menu-based puns for potential blogging like 'sandwhinge', 'complainini' and 'pain au chocolat'.
I feel more relaxed as a parent. I feel more proactive, immediately tidying/ cleaning stuff that I notice. I feel joyful and energised, and have more of a sense of proportion.
My communication is more solution-focused, so I convey the happy conclusion to an anecdote immediately. It feels excellent! A general feeling of stoicism and self-reliance is with me - empowering. Reminds me of the 'mustn't grumble' mantra of generations of the past. An efficient antidote to martyrdom. I feel enabled to have warm, caring, affectionate exchanges with Joe, so my oxytocin levels have improved :-).
It is nice to consider other people's perspectives - this challenge has helped broaden my focus. Also I have an enhanced awareness of the scripts/ frequent narratives I tell.
This cushion customisation was a worthy challenge from my little son!
I have definitely laughed more. Joe seems to be more amusing. I expect he feels more relaxed as I am focusing on listening to him - bonus! Also - not complaining is not passivity. Assertiveness is gleefully compatible with this challenge.
Benefitted physically from my non-complaining today - felt far more able to observe a blister and shin-bash with detachment. Result!
People seem far more proactive in helping me when I am in contented mode - offering assistance with the buggy, holding doors, letting me stand under the bus shelter and alerting me to the bus's (punctual :-)) arrival when we were contemplating gate climbing!
I have reprogrammed my intonation to replace potential resentment with accepting cheerfulness so that phrases like 'today was allergic to plans' and 'sometimes I am cheeky and unlatch my son from breastfeeding before he is ready' are amused observations :-).
I feel quite challenged by the process of adapting to cooking for myself at the mo - I'm super pleased Joe has revolutionised his diet with his customary intensity though! [He is a Lean in 15 convert!]
As I sat at home eating pasta, I realised at 7.44pm that the Action for Happiness Gloucestershire meeting I was meant to be chairing was scheduled to start at 7 for 7.30pm. Alan had loyally turned up and was very sweet about my forgetfulness. It was a very interesting study in how to respond to an error. It was refreshing to totally accept the situation and not ruminate on it. I was also aware of resisting the toxic temptation of blame - Joe, as an uninvolved innocent, benefitted substantially here! I felt simultaneously accountable and forgivable. I have felt at several points during this challenge that my wish to document and analyse has encouraged me to record a positive interpretation of an event, yet the brain training occurring will mean that once I've collated these impressions, many future minor slights that land on the windscreen of my awareness will simply be swept into obscurity by the wipers of optimistic stoicism.
- A sense of perspective. I would think, 'Does it matter? Is it worth it to complain? Is it worth enduring x more days of tolerance to reset the challenge?'
- Rejection of the arch, ironic persona. Some people rock this; I suit the youthful enthusiastic approach and it felt good to reclaim this part of my vibrant identity. An example was when a waitress asked me if I would like ice in my glass of tap water. I declined, but accepted a slice of lemon. When my iced water with lime arrived I... drank it.
- Opportunities for graceful tact. When asked 'is your son a good sleeper?' I smiled and said, 'he gives me the opportunity to have lots of cuddles.'
- The ripple effect. When I announced my intention to do the challenge on Facebook, my friend Kayleigh decided to achieve it too, and I was really grateful for her solidarity. Additionally, I noticed Joe using my 'observation and positive justification' sentence construction a couple of times.
- Rant Diffuser Technology: not adding my oxygen to other people's fires.
- Not getting really worked up about anything. This is such a soul salve! Issues that I found irritating, frustrating or which caused me discomfort would pass and I would return to patience, compassion, or a pleasantly detached sense of observation.
- Self control. I find the idea of self-censorship fascinating - I have read some thoughts on emotional denial and I think it is a really interesting debate point. I feel that the benefits of this challenge included self-expression and assertiveness in a controlled manner. I didn't feel repressed or as though I was letting down the sisterhood.
- I have laughed more and in a hearty manner during these three weeks - fabulous!
- I achieved this challenge to my satisfaction. It felt empowering to set standards and monitor success using my conscience, not an external examiner.
- Recently I did a 'mindful hands' challenge, increasing my awareness of where my hands were to refine my dance abilities. It was fun. I like funneling my awareness during my general adventures (rather than an overtly spiritual/ self-developmenty occasion) I feel like I am adding immediate value to my existence, and that the results are repeatable and hopefully durable! I have no intention of returning to the Whingey City!
- Thanks for reading and I welcome your thoughts :-D