Hola, Spanish Ladies! This is Senorita Limonada and Senorita Naranja. Limonada is Spanish for lemonade. Naranja, which means orange, rhymes with 'don't harangue her' - good advice.
Slice some coloured smile shapes from felt.
Position your eyes and eyelids and sew on those smouldering sequins!
Finish those zesty faces with strategic black thread. You might want tiny orange/yellow stitches at the corner of each eyelid to hold them in place (I used gold stars for Senorita Naranja).
Use stitches as small as these ladies' conscience to sew the inside edge of the peel onto the background.
The only thing that gets ruffled about these gals is their lace. Use running stitch to gather it up, keep the thread attached, then sew it on.
Add strategic pearls to the girls. Sew the beads twice for security. Add a semi circle of wadding between the face and background.
Buttonhole round the edge. If ye have a brain in that skull o' yours, angle your needle so the stitches sit under the lace.
Aharrrrrrrr! A St Clements duo, not known for clemency but for taking the c out of scurvy!
The latest felt fruit pirate... Ol' Man Coconut.
You'd look a bit peeved too if you'd been marooned on Isle Avacoconut for eleven long year!
Whole Foods Market are having a Crazy for Coconuts weekend for the first of my August Felt Fruit Pirate events so I designed a new character to celebrate. Here's how to make him:
Saw two brown circles, a white one and a weirdybeard shape from felt with a knife made from a shark's tooth. Cut the middle out o' a brown one.
Sew the husky rim to the soft sweet flesh inside. Rustic stitches are appropriate for the level of desert island exhaustion ye be feeling.
Listen close an' I'll share an ol' sea dawg's crafty secret... glue the back o' yer felt eyebrows an' beard. Leave to dry in the desiccated sunshine, then when ye need 'em at the end, they'll absorb less glue an' have neater edges. That wisdom is a bargain at only five pieces of eight! Thankee kindly.
Sandwich yer circle o' wadding between yer layers. A few mouth stitches show what that foolish young coconut looked like when ee were left on the island... mighty forlorn ee looked too, but none showed 'im mercy.
Blanket stitch the edge, bilge rat.
Finally, stick on them menacing eyebrows and milk-splash beard. Ol' Man Coconut has harvested plenty o' loot from the Isle in his time, see the doubloon a-glintin' on his cheek? He be richer in gold than sanity, fer sure, but he be a fearsome shipmate fer all that.
He'd appreciate yer comments, seein' as how he's been so lonesome.
Weevil weevil rock you! Sing it!
Ship's biscuits are called hard tack. But sometimes there's a bit of squishiness in there too... yuck!
Here are the steps to make your own adorable but not edible Weevil Biscuit.
Aharrr, the biscuit nearly matches the shivering timbers o' the deck... but wait... there's a small green speck!
Cut some wiggly green shapes from felt and two squares of beige.
Sew two sequins onto white felt for those innocent eyes, peering lovingly out o' yer Square Meal, and think about whether ye want to gnaw on some extra protein.
Sew the vomit-inducing varmint down, includin' those pesky antennae.
Knot yer thread, shipmate, or yer weevil will wriggle off somewhere.
Well now, that be a fine set o' "ocean currants" and no mistake.
Now to buttonhole round both beige squares, so none o' yer black stitchin' is visible. Bootiful! Good enough to... mebbe save it fer later, I ain't hungry.
He doesn't say much, but you may have 'felt' the terror he inspires...
Nothing causes greater fear on a ship than...
Here's how to make one!
Cut a green and a white rectangle from felt.
Fringe the green with your most terrifying scissors to make the leek's alarming hair.
Use running stitch to sew the solid bit of the green onto the white. Running is what most people do when they see Devastating Leek... Keep the thread attached.
Roll up the leek and jab him with pins to keep the roll in place. Reassure him that it's harmless acupuncture before he gets dangerous.
There we go! A whole seam, ably sewn. Perhaps the Leek is an Able Seam-an...
Sew two black sequins for eyes and a grim mouth onto a spare piece of white felt.
Remember to knot your thread on the back to finish. Knots: the unit of ship speed measurement. Rapidly decreases with a leek on board...
Cut a skull-like shape around the face and glue it onto the leek's body.
Glue on a couple of black eyebrows and admire your s-leek handiwork!
Enemies crumble before Cap'n Apple. He puts the 'pie' in pirate and has left many an enemy con-custard. Here's how to make yer own version of this ap-peel-ing character!
Start with two felt circles, green as the promise of land after months at sea.
Dissect a cap'n's hat shape from gunpowder black felt. Take yer double-cutlass commonly known as scissors and stab it. If there be grown up lubbers around who want to intervene, let 'em. Tis a foolish captain does the crew's jobs.
Put a likely-lookin' nautical gold button through the stab hole. Take a splinter from yer mast, or someone's pegleg, or a match (after ye've lit tapers in yer beard) to hold it in place.
Rim yer hat with gold sequins, me hearties! Gold thread be best, though it be slippery as a drunk octopus to work with and costs half the crew's rations to buy.
Make two black eyes - with sequins, not on the faces of nearby lubbers.
Check the placing of yer hat. This be vital in life as well as craft, me hearty.
Cut the eyes out from the white felt. Hack two black strips fer brows and two red circles fer cheeks. Place all these to yer satisfaction. I find the best eyebrows look like that well-known pirate computer game 'enraged parrots' - know the one I mean?
Glue the eyebrows with uneaten porridge from the ship's cook (or PVA).
Sew a malevolent mouth and a sinister scar, then decapitate Cap'n Apple to make room fer his hat. Ruthless!
Glue on the hat and, gruesome grappling hooks, ye be facin' a completed Cap'n Apple. And mighty fine he looks too.
Ahoy there! Take out yer sailmaker's thimble and let's make this Sassy Strawberry. She be a feisty fruit!
Slice two strawberry shapes from blood red felt.
Sew two big black sequins to a scrap o' white felt to make a fearsome ghostie that'll keep ye awake in yer hammock.
Use glue boiled from yer enemies' bones (or PVA) to add a spiky green stalk. Sew a smile an' accessorize with oversized sequins, or whatever pirate gold ye feel appropriate.
This is First Mate Kiwi, one of the fearsome felt fruit pirates who sails the Vitamin Seas.
He's one of the characters kids can make and write about at my thunderously exciting Create a Character workshop at Whole Foods Market, Cheltenham on Tues 28th May. (More info here)
Here's how, buccaneering creatives!
First off, me hearties, use yer cutlass/ fabric scissors to cut two green circles (the colour of yer lubberly seasick friend) and a brown rim. Use a cannon to blow up the hole in the centre of the brown felt.
There be no mercy in sewing. Stab yer potential kiwi crewmate through the eye with yer ship's needle. Use a sequin and thread as black as yer heart to hold the white o' the eye in place. One stitch either side o' the pupil will do.
We can jaw later about how First Mate Kiwi lost his deadlight, so fer now, just sew 'im a paaaaatch o' black felt on and glue a diagonal black line over the top. Aye, he looks a bit like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle now, but he won't fer long.
By the Pow'rs, a few stitches make a difference! Sew on a mouth wi' back stitch and some frecklesome seed beads. Arrr, whoever named seed beads was a bright spark.
It ain't pretty, but getting stuffed is a fair sight more pleasant than being keel hauled. Hack a circle out of some wadding (steal it from the Cap'n's pillow or buy it fair and square from a craft shop, as ye fancy) and squish it between the greens. The brown goes on top, telescope-like.
See that, shipmates? That be button hole stitch. And mighty useful it be too. You'll be needing brown thread fer this. Capture the wadding between yer circles and sew that hairy skin on at the same time. They'll call you an Efficient-Sea Dog after that, no doubt.
There ye go, one First Mate Kiwi. Now tell some tall tales about him to keep us entertained on the long, cold, star-stricken nights out at sea. And if ye be far from Cheltenham, be sure to flag up a picture of yer creation on me VibrantKate Facebook page. Thankee kindly.
Chief of Creative Levity and beacon of rainbows and optimism!